With age...

When you get to a “certain age,” you begin to realize that you are a little more secure in life.  I don’t mean financially, (although that is a plus!) but in the ability to look at situations a little more closely and slowly,  and know that not everything is going to crumble around you if things do not turn out the way you want at that moment.  It is an interesting transition because I don’t think I fully realized that I had this “chilled” attitude until I started seeing the stress levels rise in my kids over things that I used to stress out about.  Even though I fully understand their stress,  I just don’t have the same perspective anymore! 

Oh, how I wish I could somehow pour this peace into each of my littles so that they could enjoy it longer in life than I will.  I suppose it really has to come to them in the same way it came to me.  They have to learn patience by being unable to control circumstances, they have to learn contentment from having things that you thought would be everything you always wanted, just left to realize there is always something else you want just as much…but life is good without all of it.  They have to learn respect for those that are different when they have something happen in their lives that make them different from those around them.  Most of all, they have to learn love for themselves and for their closest loved ones that they don’t even realize they haven’t conquered yet.  You don’t realize how much you love someone until they are gone or until they have an experience where they may have lost someone.  It’s way too easy to take our closest loves for granted.  It is also easy to not realize how much we need to acknowledge self love and care along the way.  It’s ok to not be perfect…it’s ok to not have it all together.  It is ok to not have the perfect spouse or perfect kids.  Comparison steals so much joy and time.  It literally takes the appreciation for what God has given us away. 

I was privileged to work in Hospice for 6 months when we first moved to the Hill Country.  I took away a LOT of things during that time, but the one thing that was really life changing is what I want my room to look like at the “end of my road.”  I want it to be full of people I love that know how much I love them.  I want them to be sad (because it is natural and ok to be sad), but also happy for all the time we did share and because they know where I am going.  I want them to laugh at funny stories that our lives together gave us. I do not want to be in a room of cold objects or with fortunes in the bank…I want my people.  I want all my friends and family to have this relaxed and easy going way of life and attitude.  It is a peaceful place.  Do NOT get me wrong…I get anxious and I get stressed at times.  But, I come back to center much more quickly and stay there much longer in-between. 

Anyway…I didn’t really start out to get so deep, but I am just having one of those moments where that “aha” lightbulb goes off, and I’m appreciating the little stuff….the crazy dogs that want in and out 5000 times a day, and the coffee pot alarm that dings when I have fresh hot coffee, and the smell of clean laundry!  Oh…life is so good, Chickens!  It is so so good! 

Hugs and smooches to all of ya!!

Rhonda